Friday, August 28, 2009

Wedding to Get in Your Pants

Friends of the blogosphere! I come here to lay my latest knowledge on you! It's a rainy rainy day in NYC right now. I'm all snuggled up in a large hooded sweatshirt looking like quite the criminal. Criminally adorable! As you all know, I'm super lazy and never get around to posting on this site, but I have a good story to tell, so here goes it!

Weddings are great. They are usually a lot of fun and who doesn't like seeing their friends having the times of their lives uniting as a couple! Well, probably a lot of bitter (read: ugly) people, who think they will never find love or a decent relationship. Well, that ain't so, lady eating from the 16 oz ice cream carton (read: me). As the saying goes, there is someone out there for everyone! That particular someone for me is my cat. Sigh.

My friends got married a couple of weeks ago. They are really good friends from college and I was over the top excited for this wedding. Though, I was a little hesitant, because a) I'm single and b) my ex-boyfriend was going to be there with his current girlfriend. There isn't any bad blood between me and my ex, but those situations always tend to be a little awkward no matter how cool you play it (read: I'm extremely awkward). I had to make sure I had the perfect dress, but nothing that would make it seem that I was trying too hard. After shopping in 20 stores in 4 different states, I finally found the dress! My sister sighed a sigh of relief and told me she wasn't going to talk to me for at least 2 weeks. I can be really demanding when I want something!

The wedding was just amazing. The bride glowing, the groom grinning - it was a sight to be seen. Right when I get there, I see the ex. It's good to see him, actually! And I like his girlfriend, which is weird and awesome at the same time. I sit with one of my friends and he says to me, "Oh god, I'm so glad you are here!" which is always nice to hear. I have to keep my people happy, yo! In the row in front of us sat five dudes. I thought to myself, "things might be looking up! There might be some cute single dudes here. NICE!" Then I immediately thought, "Keep it cool, keep it cool. Don't be awkward. Oh god, I'm going to be really awkward. Fuck." I notice one guy in particular checking me out. Score!

Flash forward to the wedding dinner. They sat me at the same table as my ex. Awesome. In all honesty though, it was nice to talk to him and just have fun. I also sat next to this really fun chick that I went to college with, so it was all good. Oh, what's that!? That guy is looking at me from his table. Not so sneaky! I seeee you! I didn't end up talking to this guy until the LAST SONG. He would occasionally glance my way, but that was it! I was thinking, "Ok, maybe is just wondering who I am and what I'm doing here. NO! NO! I look fucking CUTE. He's definitely checking me out."

So, he finally asks me to dance. Mind you, this is the last song and the only other people dancing are the people in the wedding party. I feel immediately awkward, of course, but he turns out to be a really cool guy. He is friends with everyone from Philly. We ended up hanging out at the after party at the bar, then the after after party in my hotel room. HEY-O! Hold your horses, there were other people there too and we were trying to decide what pizza place to order from. Flash forward an hour when we discover that all the pizza places are closed.

During this time, I find out that the guy doesn't have a room to stay in for the night; he was just planning to crash with someone. Who comes to a wedding without a place to stay? Really? So, No Room, here and I are definitely hitting it off, despite the fact that he came to a wedding without a place to stay. By the time everyone is leaving, I say, "Well, you can just crash here. On the floor. If you want." So awkward. But it worked. He ended up staying in my room (I swear I'm not a hussy!), and we ended up just making out for awhile then passing out. Seriously, just making out. I'm a lady.

Morning rolls around, we make out a little more. And then, I realize it's bordering on 10am and there was supposed to be a brunch that I really want to go to. How do I get him to leave my room? I was practically twiddling my thumbs as we were making out, because I was just waiting for him to smoothly make an exit. I wanted to get up and shower and eat. I'm so finicky sometimes! But he just stayed right there in my bed. Trying to seduce me. Rough life I lead. Finally, I was like, OK I'm kicking you out. I need to get up. It's now around 10:30ish.

I see him down at the brunch, play it cool (read: try to completely ignore him because I feel slightly awkward). I actually don't do so bad. We talk a little then say our goodbyes. All-in-all I had fun hanging out with him, but it was a bit of an insane situation. He didn't have a room? What?

Flash forward, two weeks later, I got a facebook message from him (yes, he friended me) that was prefaced with, "you may find this to be a little weird." Um, ok? Good start, buddy. You got me on the edge of my seat just wanting to know how weird I am going to feel. He ended up asking me if I wanted to go to a wedding with him over Labor Day weekend. Exsqueeze me? Forward much? How about, how are you? Wanna go out on a date sometime? Maybe I should have called you to ask you this question, since it's kind of a big deal? Maybe we should get to know each other a little better, before we are forced to stay in a hotel room together for a weekend with all of our mutual friends? AWWwwwkkkwaaard. I had to let him down easy, mostly because I have plans for the holiday weekend, but I still wouldn't have gone. That's just not my style! I'm a lady!

SIIIIiiighh. Good times all around, but there were definitely some interesting moments. Turns out, I'm not the most awkward person in the world! Isn't that a mindfuck?