Loyal readers, I have NOT forgotten about you. I've been away from the 'nets for so long, and I apologize for that. And no, I did not run off and get married or even score myself a boyfriend. I've just run out of material. NO. I haven't had the chance to write in so long! It's no excuse and I won't let you down again.
This posting is a promise posting. I will post a funny, awesome, tearful, joyful, menstrual (scratch that one) post for you all tomorrow!
For now, happy birthday to me.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Happy Hour Hijinx
I really enjoy a good happy hour. Last night my friend had a happy hour at her apartment, which doesn’t really constitute a happy hour by definition completely for me. Needless-to-say, it was still a lot of fun! Cut to drunken ice skating a few hours later, but we will get to that eventually.
Happy hours are perfect for meeting people. My cousin and I are slightly obsessed with finding the bars with the best deals for our after work drinking binges. Why pay $3 when you can pay $2? Why only get a dollar off your drink, when you can buy one and get one for free? These are the questions that plague us as we are trying to find our next new watering hole.
So, my friend’s happy hour (albeit at her home) got me thinking about the happy hours that I’ve attended over the years. Then I immediately swore off all alcohol just thinking about it. Noooo. But what did come to mind was a really funny / bizarre story about a happy hour that I attended when I first moved to the city.
I was working in the financial district, so honestly there are not that many places to go for a good drink after work, and absolutely no good happy hour deals. Most of the places are filled with financial dudes, and while they may be excellent dating candidates, I just don’t find myself having a lot in common with them. I work in non-profit. I care about the world, man. My co-workers (all female, none single, but me) decided to go out for drinks after work one day. It was a weird office, so we didn’t do this often, but why not.
We ended up talking to these really old dudes (probably 40 or something, kidding they were like 60), and it was getting to that time of departure. Before we left, though, a really cute guy started talking to me and asking me how it was going with grandpa (he wasn’t that clever, so I added that – just wanted to let you know how brilliant I am). We talked for awhile and then exchanged numbers. Awesome! He even called me a few days later to ask me out, which I happily accepted.
It was great! I had been in the city for only a few months and already someone was asking me out. This was the start of great dating ahead! Or so I thought at the time.
This boy, we shall call him Glass Man for reasons which will be explained later, and I had our date at the bar where we met. Aww! So adorable! We were talking, eating, and genuinely enjoying each other’s company. He asked me about where I went to college (American) and he said that he was from DC. So much in common! He says to me, “Yeah, so I lived with a bunch of guys a few years ago on [some street that I can’t remember the name of right now]. It was interesting. They were all swimmers at American.” Heart skips beat. Clears throat. “Which guys?”
You see I was on the swim team at American (actually I was a diver on the team), so my head stated, well, swimming. Turns out, he lived with my best friends, including my ex-boyfriend. The reason why I didn’t know him was because he was living in the house with guys when I was off in
My ex-boyfriend had told me some crazy stories about this kid and how much the guys in the house disliked him. One story in particular was that Glass Man got so drunk one night, didn’t have his keys, so he broke a window to get into the house. My ex came home shortly after to find him bloody and in need of a hospital. The kid was a nut.
We exchanged the, “Oh wow that’s so weird!” And, “Oh, you’re Anne!” (My ex and I had unfortunately broken up while I was away in
Ah, good times. Small world and all those sayings. Speaking of which and back to drunken ice skating… We all hopped on a trolley to the rink after the happy hour. We were some drunk monkeys. I didn’t know anyone besides my friend and her husband, so I ended up skating with some new people I just met and then eventually by myself (I only fell once). So, I’m skating around the rink and who do I see? One of my best girlfriends! It was awesome. I kept telling her how happy I was to see her and asking her if she read my blog. I was probably really annoying, but who cares!? We skated the night away! Until we got too tired. And drunk.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Playing It Obvious
I do realize that there are certain games and rules that need to be heeded in this crazy dating jungle. "Let him call you." "Let him make the first move." Blah blah blah. These rules have always evaded me for some reason. It's like a mini rebellion that burns inside me, a desire to not follow the rules and have everything magically work out. That 15 year old girl still exists, yearning to break free and take over the cruel, cruel world that exist only to spite me. "Damn you world!"
Well, I'm not as dark and mysterious as I used to me (because, come on, I was pretty hard core, purposely not studying until the last minute. Take that 10th grade). I still do find it hard to follow "rules" when dating, because I just don't think it should be that hard. Even though I have previously said that I am usually right (that was a lie), I can sometimes be wrong. Sometimes. On the rare occasion.
I was out for some drinks last night with a few girlfriends, while the Superbowl was being dvred, so we could later watch the commercials - they were pretty bad this year. Anyway, so we were talking about dating, because that's what girls do, and my one friend said she was watching Oprah recently when some kind of matchmaker was on giving dating advice. The one piece of advice that stuck with me after this whole conversation (I was drinking wine and feeling niiiiice) was to "let him be a man." Um, ok. Done, because he is one. Hopefully.
What I think she meant was, let him take care of you or at least think that he is taking care of you in some capacity. It's like, really? Am I dealing with a child? Ok, honey, you pay for me and you initiate the conversation. I'm just going to sit here and smile! Do you feeling like a man now? No? Ok, you call me first. I will sit by the phone panicking because I didn't hear from you after we had an amazing date. And instead of taking matters into my own hands, I'm just going to let an opportunity pass me by. Bye!!! Don't call! Sigh.
I understand the philosophy behind it and all, but it sucks! I don't have to like it, right? Dating is so much more complicated that I was making it out to be. I don't want that. I don't want to feel pressured to act a certain way, so that some dude likes me. It's so demeaning and so 1950. It's similar to the way I acted in high school. Coy and constantly waiting. Waiting for someone to grow a pair and ask me out. I did date a little in high school, but I was so awkward that it wasn't even that memorable, just...awkward. Hi again braces and my extremely depleted self-esteem! I totally did not miss you.
Honestly though, mostly every time I have initiated a conversation with a guy at a bar or showed that I was interested, it would blow up in my face. Like his balls would mysteriously retract up into his body because some girl thought he was cool. "Why are you interested in me? It's like your a heterosexual female and I'm a heterosexual male!" Crazy. People do pick up vibes better than you think, so that gets me into trouble. I can not play it cool for the life of me. I'm just really not that cool.
Ah, yes. More fun ahead! I'm really not that bitter, I swear. Really. I'm not. Positivity!
On a fun, totally lame note, I did a special improv performance Saturday night with a mix of people from classes and people who are regular performers at the theatre. I'm of the class distinction...for now! So, I got to be a group with the one dude who I thought was cute. I had seen him perform before and had a total improv crush on him. Hi serendipity! Thanks for showing up! So I decided that I would really try to step out in a scene with him. And ta da...I did it! I'm ridiculous.
We totally walked out together too. Awesome. I mean, he was 10 paces behind me and was with his friends. Regardless, it was at the same time, kinda. We were also standing at the same corner together. Hot. He was still talking to his friends and I was hanging with my new gay friend. Totally sweet.
Well, I'm not as dark and mysterious as I used to me (because, come on, I was pretty hard core, purposely not studying until the last minute. Take that 10th grade). I still do find it hard to follow "rules" when dating, because I just don't think it should be that hard. Even though I have previously said that I am usually right (that was a lie), I can sometimes be wrong. Sometimes. On the rare occasion.
I was out for some drinks last night with a few girlfriends, while the Superbowl was being dvred, so we could later watch the commercials - they were pretty bad this year. Anyway, so we were talking about dating, because that's what girls do, and my one friend said she was watching Oprah recently when some kind of matchmaker was on giving dating advice. The one piece of advice that stuck with me after this whole conversation (I was drinking wine and feeling niiiiice) was to "let him be a man." Um, ok. Done, because he is one. Hopefully.
What I think she meant was, let him take care of you or at least think that he is taking care of you in some capacity. It's like, really? Am I dealing with a child? Ok, honey, you pay for me and you initiate the conversation. I'm just going to sit here and smile! Do you feeling like a man now? No? Ok, you call me first. I will sit by the phone panicking because I didn't hear from you after we had an amazing date. And instead of taking matters into my own hands, I'm just going to let an opportunity pass me by. Bye!!! Don't call! Sigh.
I understand the philosophy behind it and all, but it sucks! I don't have to like it, right? Dating is so much more complicated that I was making it out to be. I don't want that. I don't want to feel pressured to act a certain way, so that some dude likes me. It's so demeaning and so 1950. It's similar to the way I acted in high school. Coy and constantly waiting. Waiting for someone to grow a pair and ask me out. I did date a little in high school, but I was so awkward that it wasn't even that memorable, just...awkward. Hi again braces and my extremely depleted self-esteem! I totally did not miss you.
Honestly though, mostly every time I have initiated a conversation with a guy at a bar or showed that I was interested, it would blow up in my face. Like his balls would mysteriously retract up into his body because some girl thought he was cool. "Why are you interested in me? It's like your a heterosexual female and I'm a heterosexual male!" Crazy. People do pick up vibes better than you think, so that gets me into trouble. I can not play it cool for the life of me. I'm just really not that cool.
Ah, yes. More fun ahead! I'm really not that bitter, I swear. Really. I'm not. Positivity!
On a fun, totally lame note, I did a special improv performance Saturday night with a mix of people from classes and people who are regular performers at the theatre. I'm of the class distinction...for now! So, I got to be a group with the one dude who I thought was cute. I had seen him perform before and had a total improv crush on him. Hi serendipity! Thanks for showing up! So I decided that I would really try to step out in a scene with him. And ta da...I did it! I'm ridiculous.
We totally walked out together too. Awesome. I mean, he was 10 paces behind me and was with his friends. Regardless, it was at the same time, kinda. We were also standing at the same corner together. Hot. He was still talking to his friends and I was hanging with my new gay friend. Totally sweet.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Deal breaker Love maker
What am supremely cheesy title! I love it, and I know you do too. Lately I've been having a few discussions about dating standards and, more specifically, deal breakers. Everyone has their own little stipulation that if they see that annoyance in a potential partner, everything will be off. Most times it's just shallow provisos that we get caught up with - sad, but true. As my co-worker said to me today, "We're animals." And hey it's true! But at the same time, our ability to think makes us over-think too often.
I don't generally consider myself to be a shallow person, but sometimes you are more shallow that you really think you are. Oops, my bad! I have standards, as do most people. It can't be helped and most times you can't turn it off, especially when you are just jumping back into the dating scene (hey that's me!).
Turns out, I had a date the other night through my trusty crazy blind date site, go me! So, before you meet up with the person, you get to read a little bit about them (get out your witty commentary people). This preview gives you the chance to decide if you actually want to go out with them or not. And honestly, you really shouldn't be able to turn anyone down from a brief description of themselves and no picture. Oh, but I almost did.
The guy I met up with the other night wrote in a description of himself that he had a goatee, and my immediate reaction was "Ewwwww." For some reason the thought of meeting up with someone who sports a goatee really struck me as being a turn off. But why?? It really made no sense. I literally sat there for 10 minutes debating whether or not I should go out with goatee man. I mean, what? Why!? Why would I want to turn down a date because of facial hair? It seemed like the dumbest rejection ever.
I started thinking about guys who had goatees. Colin Farrell - he's hot and he has a goatee, but he's also kinda dirty. Edward Norton had a goatee! He's adorable. You may say, "But wait, Anne, didn't he have a goatee in the movie, American History X, where he played a scary neo-nazi?" To which I reply, "Yes, he played a sexy, scary neo-nazi who was reformed!"
I ended up biting the goateed bullet and met up with the dude. He had, in fact, shaved his goatee by the time of our meeting, so it wasn't even an issue. I'm glad I went too! He ended up being a pretty cool guy. I might even grace him with my presence again, but who knows! Lucky guy.
After I told my bff about considering not meeting up with the dude because of his facial hair disability, she told me that with her current girlfriend she gave up a lot of her former deal breaking stipulations. For as long as I have known her she has been somewhat of a music snob. Not at all in a bad way. She just knows what she likes. We are both music snobs actually, which gives us license to make fun of people who have crappy taste in music. Kidding! Not really. We bonded over the fact that we had very similar tastes in music and went to (and still do go to) numerous rockin' shows at Southpaw, Webster Hall, Bowery Ballroom, etc. The "cool" venues. We most definitely do not go see shows at Madison Square Garden, thank you very much. (Ok, except for that one time that we went to go see the Scissor Sisters and it was in the theater arena, not the main stage. That show was my pick, because I love them.)
Anyway, my bff has been very nitpicky about the people she dates and their musical tastes in the past, but currently, she is dating someone who is not at all on the same level of musical taste, and for some reason it just doesn't bother her. I didn't understand at first, especially when she told me she bought tickets for Stevie Wonder and Dolly Parton - don't get me wrong, they are both amazing musicians, but they are not the people we go to see live. She just likes her girlfriend so much that she will go see artists that she would normally scoff at people for going to see. I think that's adorable.
I may not be ready to settle on some things when I'm dating around, and I'm ok with that. I think that eventually I will let it all go and be ok with someone who has a little facial hair or possibly wears ugly sneakers (that one will be hard)! You never know what can happen when people fall in love. They get all crazy-like.
I don't generally consider myself to be a shallow person, but sometimes you are more shallow that you really think you are. Oops, my bad! I have standards, as do most people. It can't be helped and most times you can't turn it off, especially when you are just jumping back into the dating scene (hey that's me!).
Turns out, I had a date the other night through my trusty crazy blind date site, go me! So, before you meet up with the person, you get to read a little bit about them (get out your witty commentary people). This preview gives you the chance to decide if you actually want to go out with them or not. And honestly, you really shouldn't be able to turn anyone down from a brief description of themselves and no picture. Oh, but I almost did.
The guy I met up with the other night wrote in a description of himself that he had a goatee, and my immediate reaction was "Ewwwww." For some reason the thought of meeting up with someone who sports a goatee really struck me as being a turn off. But why?? It really made no sense. I literally sat there for 10 minutes debating whether or not I should go out with goatee man. I mean, what? Why!? Why would I want to turn down a date because of facial hair? It seemed like the dumbest rejection ever.
I started thinking about guys who had goatees. Colin Farrell - he's hot and he has a goatee, but he's also kinda dirty. Edward Norton had a goatee! He's adorable. You may say, "But wait, Anne, didn't he have a goatee in the movie, American History X, where he played a scary neo-nazi?" To which I reply, "Yes, he played a sexy, scary neo-nazi who was reformed!"
I ended up biting the goateed bullet and met up with the dude. He had, in fact, shaved his goatee by the time of our meeting, so it wasn't even an issue. I'm glad I went too! He ended up being a pretty cool guy. I might even grace him with my presence again, but who knows! Lucky guy.
After I told my bff about considering not meeting up with the dude because of his facial hair disability, she told me that with her current girlfriend she gave up a lot of her former deal breaking stipulations. For as long as I have known her she has been somewhat of a music snob. Not at all in a bad way. She just knows what she likes. We are both music snobs actually, which gives us license to make fun of people who have crappy taste in music. Kidding! Not really. We bonded over the fact that we had very similar tastes in music and went to (and still do go to) numerous rockin' shows at Southpaw, Webster Hall, Bowery Ballroom, etc. The "cool" venues. We most definitely do not go see shows at Madison Square Garden, thank you very much. (Ok, except for that one time that we went to go see the Scissor Sisters and it was in the theater arena, not the main stage. That show was my pick, because I love them.)
Anyway, my bff has been very nitpicky about the people she dates and their musical tastes in the past, but currently, she is dating someone who is not at all on the same level of musical taste, and for some reason it just doesn't bother her. I didn't understand at first, especially when she told me she bought tickets for Stevie Wonder and Dolly Parton - don't get me wrong, they are both amazing musicians, but they are not the people we go to see live. She just likes her girlfriend so much that she will go see artists that she would normally scoff at people for going to see. I think that's adorable.
I may not be ready to settle on some things when I'm dating around, and I'm ok with that. I think that eventually I will let it all go and be ok with someone who has a little facial hair or possibly wears ugly sneakers (that one will be hard)! You never know what can happen when people fall in love. They get all crazy-like.
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