2010: Year of Men

I spent New Year’s eve up in Vermont for the second year in a row. I don’t think I’ll do New Year’s any other way. I go up with some friends to my Uncles’ very welcoming, very gay home. So the combination of family and gay meant there would be no hooking up for me, but that made no difference to me, as it is always a great time. We eat way too much food, drink way too much, and watch the Twilight Zone marathon.

I actually learn lots of lessons from the women in the Twilight Zone: always fall while running, know how to “wrestle up” some coffee, react very dramatically with your face when something crazy happens, but not too crazy as to make you look unattractive, be in abusive relationships, be extremely attractive or have been extremely attractive once in your life, BE AWESOME. The list could go on, but I will stop. You can always add some in the comments, if you so choose!

SO, we dubbed 2010 the Year of Men. I usually go up to VT with some of my amazing single lady friends and we decided that this year, we are going to be extremely slutty. NO, we decided that it will be a more confident year for us and we will go forward through the seas of men and come up victorious! FREEDOM!

I decided that in honor of the Year of Men, I was going to make a list of pseudo resolutions – more like a list of goals for myself in this all exciting and testosterone-filled year.

1. Stop being so damn stand-offish. It’s easy for me to dismiss a guy at a bar who is simply trying to make conversation. I have a very small tolerance threshold for bullshit, and an even smaller tolerance threshold for idiots. There are a lot of idiots out there. Though, I do realize that I need to give people more of a chance, so I’ll like… totally work on that.

2. This has nothing to do with dating, but I need to stop spending so much money! I have a tendency to just go with the flow and spend way outside my budget. I get really wrapped up in fun and end up staying out late and spending away like money doesn’t matter, as you can tell by some of my posts. So, I guess finding more budget friendly social events should be my goal… Easy enough! <-- I’ll be regretting writing that. I should just make dudes buy more drinks for me. That will help me save some money.

3. Stop taking dating advice from MTV reality shows. I don’t think I need to explain this one.

4. Stop making excuses. I find myself saying, “Well, he does yoga” or “We see each other so often” or “He has weird hair” or “He makes macramé in his spare time” or “He doesn’t have a job” or… Well the job one, I should probably keep as an excuse. Regardless, I tend to make excuses as to why I don’t go for someone. My friends have been pointing it out lately, and it’s so true. You can’t know for sure if something will work out or not unless you try! Chances! Life! Exciting!

5. Start dressing more trashy / sexy. Those girls who wear the whore outfits seem to get all the guys. So, today I’m going to go shopping at Hot Topic to get a JWoww outfit (Jersey Shore, amiright?).

6. Start going on study expeditions. Like, I am just going to go out on reconnaissance missions to study how people hook up. My friend was telling me a story the other day how one of our mutual friends wanted to hook up with anyone, so she pointed to a guy then walked up to him – 5 minutes later they left together. How does that happen!? I need to take slut lessons.

7. Stop talking about my cat. Enough said.

8. Go to new bars. I tend to frequent the same places all the time. I get really comfortable going to the same bars over and over again. I took a nap in a bar once. I got kicked out. They didn’t understand that I was just “resting my eyes.” I was not, I repeat not passed out. But, seriously, I fall into the same patterns when I feel at home, so I need to put myself into situations where I feel slightly less comfortable, where there is less nap potential.

9. Stop going for unavailable guys. It’s easy to flirt with someone who isn’t exactly available because you pretty much know that nothing will happen. That is, until you start getting invested in the person and they are just completely unavailable. Fun times!

10. Start taking more chances. I think that’s probably the theme of this entire list. I am generally a very happy person. I do things that make me happy and I surround myself with people who are awesome and supportive of my oddities. I take more chances with my friends than with relationships. So this year, I will take a page out of the ABBA songbook and "take a chance on me" finding a dude. Or whatever. Something like that, right? Sure.

So, everyone embrace this new year, the Year of Men, even if you are a straight dude or a lesbian. Embrace it. Love it. Vomit on it. Lovingly coddle it. Facetiously poke it in its belly. Make fun of it. Live it! Do it now, bitches!

Happy 2010!