Happy Valentine's, Lovelies!

A very happy Valentine's day to you all! Picture me: home watching movies, covered in blankets, sipping tea and snuggling with my cat. All true! I'm sick as a dog (whatever that saying means anyway, are dogs sick? and if so, how sick?) with some kind of cold and / or flu. I was planning to go over to my good friend / favorite chef's apartment for chocolate, wine and scary movies, but I shook the Magic 8 Ball and "outlook not good." Instead, I fear that I will be stuck at home watching crappy movies all day long.

SIIIIIIIGH.

Sadly, I don't actually have any good Valentine's day stories. I can't even remember the last time I had a "special someone" on this very blessed day. A-men. Or perhaps "A Man!" What!? I don't know. I think the cold medicine is making me loopy.

My friend wrote me earlier in the week saying that she was looking forward to a Valentine's day posting, so I told her that I was going to go out to a bar or restaurant to hit on people today just so I could have something to write. And by people, I meant couples. Like, join their dates and make them feel awesomely uncomfortable. How lucky they would have been! But alas, all my plans are now nil because I went ahead and got sick.

So, I'm going to take this time to tell everyone who reads this blog that I love you. I love you so much. You read my ramblings. You love me for my awkwardness. You love me for how pathetic I truly can be at times. And I love you for loving me. So come here. Come closer. Close your eyes.

Guest Blogger?

SO my dedicated readers! Since I posted the epic story, "The Hobble," the guru has become friends (just how good is still pending) with said hobble, Blainebo. Turns out, he's pretty awesome (pending further approval). AH, connections! Drunk ass connections! I've actually been keeping in touch with him as well.

The guru went ahead and sent him the posting for "The Hobble" and he luuuurved it. He lurved it so much that he was all jazzed up about creating some posts for this here blog. I am all about people sharing their stories with me so I can get some new insights and points-of-view on the blog, because let's face it, I can't be out on dates ALL THE TIME. I mean, I could but I just choose not to. OH yeah! Up top! Nice.

So, Blainebo emails me on a Saturday night and asks if he can contribute a guest entry, and I write back, "of course! send it along and I'll post it up for you!" Below is what he sent me. I literally cut and paste this from my email to your eyes.

"It's called 'Pick-up Spots'

Location; sagamore hotel, miami
Time; 7:28pm
Scene. Wow. Lady gaga would be embarassed here. What do parents do to their kids to make them want to dress like this?"

That's it? That's what you wanted to post? Blainebo! You are going to have to try a bit harder than that! Let me point out what strikes me as unusual.

1. Miami? He knows the title of my blog is "Adventures in New York Dating" right? I mean, I'm all about so-called "Pick-up Spots," but in my neighborhood pick-up spots would be preferable. I'm not going to travel to Miami to find a dude. I'm not that desperate. Maybe sometimes I am. NO NO I'm definitely not! ...maybe.

2. 7:28pm? That's a little early to be trying to pick up a hottie on a Saturday night. That's M-F happy hour pick-up time. I think most of the people you are going to pick up are going to be either of AARP age or "regulars." And by regulars, I mean they are already going to be vomit-wasted by this time and they do this every day.

3. I don't even know how to begin to tackle this last one. The only place Lady Gaga would ever be embarrassed would be at a rodeo. Wait, no. She'd probably be ok with that. Maybe a retirement home? A J. Crew photo shoot? At a WASPy dinner party? I can't think of anything...

"What do parents do to their kids to make them want to dress like this?" Ok, verge of funny right now, but what are they wearing!? And why are their kids at a bar? Am I misinterpreting? Help! Help!

OH man. It was a good attempt, but A LITTLE more effort needs to be involved, amiright?

Blainebo emailed me on Monday, "No recollection of this email chain. Ha ha." So, I'm giving him a break on this one! Too much Miami heat and Lady Gaga wanna-be's.

Miami? Really?