On My Sick Bed

Thankfully, I'm not dying, but it sure feels like it. I've been home sick from work for the past day and a half. At this point, I have coughed so much and so often that my back and stomach are killing me. On the plus side, my abs are so defined right now! So, my diet recommendation is to get deathly ill, so you are practically coughing up your lung for about two days, then you will have killer abs. Forget the possibility of contracting bronchitis or pneumonia. Copyright! Now, I shall make my millions.

Obviously, I haven't been dating for the past week, because of my sexy cough. And prior to that I was in Cambridge for work, then London for gay clubbing. Unfortunately, the boys in Cambridge are all about 18 or 19 years old or completely ancient, just slightly young/old for my taste and age for that matter. And the boys I was chilling with in London are friends of mine from my partying days in the U.K., and they are all gay. Lovely, but gay. I did try to set up a few crazy blind dates (which by the way is getting some buzz these days), but bailed on them due to my impending cold and lack of adjustment to the time difference. So, basically haven't been "in the mood."

Honestly, it takes a lot of energy to sit through two hours of awkward conversation, which most of my dates have been like, and I haven't had that energy lately. I'm hoping that when the weather starts warming up, so will my loins. EW! Sorry, but I just can't backspace today. There's a malfunction.

My guru and I already have a dream vacation booked for this summer, which I am so looking forward to. We have booked a week in the beautiful Turks and Caicos at none other than Club fucking Med. AHHHH yeah. And to top it off, it's a singles resort. Either I'm super awesome, or super pathetic. Personally, I think I'm awesome. I am so wishing that it was vacation time right now, but I have to be patient until the ultimate party.

The story goes... A few months ago, I emailed the guru, "I am going on a vacation this summer. I need a vacation this summer. Where should I go? Do you want come?" Simple and sweet. She wrote back, "YES! Club Med?" And the idea was born. The brilliant idea was born. Her parents have gone to this resort many times and love it, which I think is pretty funny. It's a singles resort. This actually makes me really excited to meet her parents too. They know how to throw down yo!

I expect many stories to come from this vacation, which excites me more than you know! My colleagues made a comment to me when we were in Cambridge. They said, "Wow, you really like telling stories." It's pretty much all I do. And honestly, that's what makes me happy! It's the spice of life. I love entertaining people and telling crazy stories, because crazy shit happens to me quite often. I know my readers like my stories!

As I wait for my lungs to drain of the nastiness they possess, all I can think of is warm weather, sun dresses, and cute boys. Ah, spring is so close! My skin is just waiting to turn from blue-ish white to light beige. And that's being optimistic!