The Internet is for Lovers

It's a slow day at work today, so I decided to take a brief moment out of my day to write a quick entry. My boss has my blog link, so maybe this isn't the best idea, but I'm going with it anyway. That's how I live - dangerously on the edge! (actually I drafted this last night and am just posting it now...)

Maybe the title to this entry should read "The Internet is for Losers" but I wanted to stay positive about things. I mean, really, doesn't everyone date on the 'net these days? That's what I was thinking when I decided to sign up on nerve.com with my hilariously cute online dating profile. I thought, this should be fun, total anonymity and no real judgment! We are all here to date, so let's do it!

Oh, was I wrong! I got a total of zero dates through online dating. I know several girlfriends who have done the online dating thing as well and have fared much better than I did, so this left me feeling sad, lonely, and seriously pathetic. My friend / dating guru was an expert at getting dates through her nerve.com profile, so I took her advice. "Email at least two guys a day." Done and done. I received maybe one response from this expert tactic, and the guy turned out to be a little bit of a weirdo.

What am I doing wrong here? It's the Internet! I would have even respected the response, "Sorry, not interested." But no response at all! I even had my brother-in-law help me with some parts of my profile to make them more "attractive." He told me I was writing in too many jokes. Too many jokes! I did, in fact, write in the fill in the blank section, "Horses are sexy; Unicorns are sexier!" Ok, it's stupid, I know, but it amused me to no end - it still does.

I have since taken down my dating profile, but it sits there waiting to be put right back up again for more non-rejection rejection. It's hard for me to take anything seriously, especially the modern way of dating. You still hear those stories of meeting a guy through a friend, or on the subway (hello roommate! she went on a date with subway dude last night), or at a party, etc., but I feel like they are becoming more and more rare - maybe just on my behalf. Wow, I've become a cynic. Think positive, think positive.

I miss the college days, when you dated the guy who lived across the hall from you. The guy who lives across the hall from me now is named Juan, and he's 75 years old.

CLAWED

What a night! I frolicked in the streets of Brooklyn, had some festive drinks with friends (and new friends!), won an incredible prize, and showed a lot of love for my roommate.

My roommate and I began our night by eating delicious sushi and a fabu bottle of Saint-Emilion. We danced to Britney Spears before we left and taunting our cat by showing her our hot dance moves. She hasn't looked at us the same since. I think she's jealous.

To start the night off right, we begin walking to our friend's apartment and notice a claw machine outside of a bodega. Here is a cartoon rendition:

So, I say, "Let's win something for GENERIC FRIEND NAME!!!!" I got really excited because this machine was the bane of my existence when I was a child. The claw never really latched on and you were always disappointed, because you were always so close! I go into this thinking, whatever, I'm not going to win anything anyway, but it will be fun to try. (trickle of sweat running down brow) I go for the little snowman, festive, and what happens? I end up with two, not one or zero, toys! JOY!!! One is definitely a creepy clown that looks like it was dropped on the street then into the claw machine and the other is the snowman! My night is over! No need to go to the party. Wow, I'm amazing.

My roommate and I go running down the streets yelling in excitement, taking as many pictures with our new friends as possible. Walking across the street, riding on a motorcycle, almost being thrown over the bridge, etc. We make it to the party in great spirits ready for a fun evening. And oh was it! What a great party - so many fun people. Not too many eligible bachelors - my roommate ended up talking to a guy most of the night, who she later found out has a live-in girlfriend...okay buddy, nice move. I ended up propositioning the host to be brutally rebuffed. Ah, love the embarrassment.

BUT at one point during the night, my roommate called me into the this room where everyone just started applauding me. When does that ever happen! They were all just as excited about the double claw win as I was! Wonderful!

I like parties

Parties are great. They give you chance to meet new people and then get embarrassingly wasted with those new friends. And I frequently am one to embarrass myself, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not, but it will eventually happen one way or another, and I actually enjoy embarrassing myself. I don't exactly know why.

So tonight, I'm going to a party. And boy am I excited! Well, kinda. I had to really convince myself that I should go, because you never know, you might meet someone special. Or in the least someone to share a drunken philosophical moment with.

I, by nature, am I very social person and I like meeting new people and having new experiences. (Speed dating was great for that!) The last party I went to was completely random. I had gone to see my friend's improv show totally hungover on a Saturday night, but since the show was at night I convinced myself that it was like going out without actually going out. Anyway, my friend invited me to the after party, but I was hesitant because I was feeling a little rough from the previous night of drinking. He and his friends convinced me to go, so I decided to go along. I was thinking, "how bad could this be? Funny people drinking and being merry."

The party was at a nice apartment in the city - very good size for party and lots of fun people there. I immediately hit it off with one of the guys who lived in the apartment and started joking around with him and flirting. Oh, surprise! He is flirting back. This is exciting! So, I have to play it cool and hang out, but he keeps coming around to talk to me and flirt. Yay, maybe a hook-up tonight!

Incidentally, this same night, I also met a totally awesome girl who I attached myself to the whole night. She and I ended up exchanging information at the end of the night. This happens to me often, I meet cool girls at parties and through friends, but rarely the awesome single dudes - so I was super excited that there was a cute, smart, funny guy talking to me as well.

My friends left to go karaoking, but I decided to stay behind because of all the fun I was having. It was a great decision. I kept my flirt on, while keeping it cool. When the end of the night arrived (actually, went I totally ran out of steam), there was no exchange of numbers with the cute boy, just an awkward hug goodnight and a "so good to meet you!" Uh, I... I, yeah, awesome. See ya!

What? I don't get it. Flirt all night, but give the awkward goodbye? Girlfriend? Or just embarrassed to give me your number in front of your friends? Hm. I was seriously confused, but since I had exchanged info with cool girl, there was a link! Cool girl and I instantly became myspace friends and I totally stalked cute boy in her friends, whom I immediately friended and messaged. Never heard back. Again, what?

All in all, it was a fun night, but I walked away from it confused and a little let down - BUT with an super cool new friend.

Hopefully tonight will be fun! And perhaps some cuties will be at the party, but no biggie if there aren't. I will just get really drunk and tell all of my friends how much I love them. I'm so in that kind of mood and I haven't even had a drink. They love me for it.

Oh, and on an unrelated jealousy note, my roommate met some guy on the subway a few days ago, who she totally hit it off with. They didn't exchange information, but they both wrote "missed connections" for each other. He wrote back to her listing saying that he beat her to the punch. Adorable! Adorably disgusting. Ugh. I mean, I'm really happy for you!

Speed Dating in Tribeca

So last night was the night! The night to end all nights...or the night I tried out speed dating for the first time. Let me tell you, it was definitely an experience - good and bad at the same time, but so very enjoyable. Now for the breakdown.

My friend (and dating guru) had convinced me to do this about 2 weeks ago. I thought about testing it out for awhile, but we actually locked down a date for the blessed event. We met up a little early to run a few holiday errands, waste some time, and feel nervous and anxious about the upcoming potential fiasco.

We arrive at the bar exactly on time for registration which is at 7pm, so we can take advantage of the happy hour special before succumbing to 15 four minute (!) dates. According to my nose, the bar has an overwhelming smell of pee, but my dating guru assures me that it just smells like every bar. Whatever. As we walk up to registration, we realize there is no one else here for speed dating, just some regulars at the bar. Uh, ok. We are #1 and #2 and completely embarrassed about that. But (ding ding) we are told that we can sit together in a booth! This is going to be great! We ended up not really having much time to talk to each other during the event, but it was reassuring to have one another right there.

As we (and by we I mean "I") chug our (my) beer(s), we take a look at the crowd slowly arriving. We notice an interesting dichotomy between the men and women who will be speed dating with us. There are loads of cute, fun, outgoing women who you would think would already have been snatched up, but then I remember that this is New York and single men are lacking. The men arriving seem awkward, less attractive and much fewer in numbers. This is going to be interesting!

In order to make sure our nerves are really up on high, there is an announcement in the bar that all speed daters need to form around the front for instructions. Oh joy! Now we get to stand in a group, while everyone else in the bar looks at us - the lame-o's who can't get a date. We are all ordered back to our seats after the instruction session (which basically is: girls sit while boys go around to each place when the whistle blows, yes a whistle. Am I in Cancun? Is it time for beach volleyball?). Let the dating begin!

I don't know that I will get into to much detail about the "dates" but honestly every person I spoke with was extremely nice and relatively normal, yet a little awkward. Most of the men had mentioned their lack of ability to approach women at bars, which I can totally understand. I find a lot of guys gross and annoying when they try to talk to me. Ick. Is this why I'm still single?

So, one dude tried to talk philosophy with me, another one tried to entice me with his knowledge of the comedian Paul Mooney, another was most definitely gay (and coincidentally the most attractive man there, of course). My scorecard by the end of the night had no yeses, but honestly I had such a wonderful time. I went in thinking it was going to be like that scene in "40 year old Virgin" but it wasn't as weird and no boobs were exposed. At least, mine were in check, so that was a good thing. I didn't run into an crazy exes either. All in all, a pleasant evening. lokds-=wdf[s Oops! my cat just walked on my keyboard. Yeah, I'm single.

I don't know if I will do the speed dating again, but it was for sure an adventure for the ages! Or just a night that was worth every penny.

xo (ew, is that too Gossip Girl? I'll stop)

PS. I totally took notes in the beginning of the night on general ambiance that was extremely witty and amazing, but I stupidly left the note pad at work. My friend / guru who dated with me told me that I couldn't keep the note pad out while I was dating because I would look creepy. She was probably right.

Beginnings

My adventure begins! Or at least the documentation of my adventures is beginning. My sister has urged me to start a blog about dating in New York and the funny men I come across. I thought for the longest time that this was a played-out idea that had been sampled by many other young New York women. It makes sense! Finding a single straight man in NYC is probably one of the hardest things to do. Well, let's rephrase - finding a single straight man in NYC who I want to date is one of the hardest things. There are great men out there, but I can't seem to find the ones who want to make out with me as much as I want to make out with them.

This blog will contain my current adventures in dating as well as old adventures, just because there are some funny ones that just NEED to be talked about, er blogged about. I'm new to blogging; I don't exactly have blog-speak down. Anyway, I hope you (whoever you might happen to be) will be entertained by my inane ramblings about crazy me and crazy people.

So to begin this adventure the right way, I am going speed dating tonight for the first time ever. Let me tell you, I am SO excited. I can't wait to see the type of people who show up and what will be discussed with my potential daters. I already have one question lined up, "If you could have either the ability to fly or the ability to be invisible, which would you choose? Why would you choose it?" It's a killer!!

I told my boss I felt like I was interviewing someone for the position of my boyfriend. She thought it was funny.

So wish me luck, e-people! I shall review in detail the adventures of this evening's venture.

xo